What a brilliant weekend; time spent with my gorgeous family, great friends and lots of food. Far too much glorious food. But something has been plaguing my mind...
A family friend posted on her facebook status that she would like to start a prayer chain for friends of hers that have found out their 2 year old daughter has stage 4 cancer. (Not sure what type but does it make a difference?) How awful for that family. How do they even begin to cope or process that? The only way I can try relate is by sharing my story.
Remember I told you that Phillipa went for an MRI on her arm. Well that was to test for a rare form of child cancer that starts in the bones and if it was to be, she would probably only live to be about 10 years old, maybe more. The entire process felt distorted and we were in sheer disbelief. We were told that all the signs were there but in order to make sure we had to send her into theatre for a biopsy. The day before we had to take her to the hospital I went to a yoga class. I remember lying on the floor during meditation and the tears were gushing down the side of my face. While the puddles of water collected around my head I kept silently begging the universe to please give it to me instead. I hope I don't sound like a martyr but trust me, if it was your child you would want to take their pain away. You would want and need to carry their burden. As I am sure that poor mom would do in a heart beat. I can only imagine the amount of times she has screamed to the universe to give it to her instead!
Phillipa was amazing and during her biopsy the doctor actually called Dave to come to the door of the theatre to give him the thumbs up. Phillipa didn't have cancer but rather a knotted vein that resembled a tumor. Our child was OK. Our baby was going to be OK!
I don't know if the universe heard my plea's but I do know this. Its easy carrying a 'burden' when there is even the remotest chance that it could be for your child. Actually its a privileged and a blessing. I often wallow in my own self pity about how long or short I have left on this earth, wondering how much of my children's lives I will bear witness too. But not this weekend. This weekend I was so incredibly grateful to have had lived this long. To have seen my daughters turn 7 and next month 10. I have those memories and nothing can take them away from me.
So please, if you are religious or even if you are not, please send lots of positive, healing energy toward that sweet 2 year old and her family.
Thanks
Bron xxxx
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