Hoping for Combat

I find when ever I have a big day at the doctor coming up, I tend to keep to myself. Minimal people contact and phone calls, then I don't have to talk about it. I have one of those days tomorrow...

On the 11th of December 2010 I had radioactive beads inserted into my liver.  Those beads pretty much saved my life. Last year I couldn't drive. My husband had to save my life every morning and sometimes several times a day. I couldn't be left alone in case I went into an insulin coma. I couldn't walk up the stair case at home without going into a complete sweat and needing to sit down and rest. It was definitely a version of living hell, especially for my family (and very brave kids) who had to witness it all. We had spent many months trying different medical options. Surgery, injections, sugar drips, chemo and any other weird and wonderful option that was put in front of us. Finally, after what seemed like forever, and thanks to the constant pushing and research of my surgeon, we were given a viable option. After having been given only a year to live, those tiny microscopic glass beads filled with radiation gave me life again. I can drive. I can do small amounts of exercise. I can be left alone. Everything is so very different to last year and so very wonderful! I love being alive!

Here's where the big day comes in. The tumors on my liver have reduced by nearly 50%, and I have exceeded everyone's expectations but the little shits are starting to wake up again. Tomorrow I go see my Radiation Oncologist to find out if it is possible and viable to do the procedure again. Tomorrow I find out if my liver and body can handle another dose of radiation so soon. Tomorrow I find out if I can nuke the bastards some more and reduce them again. Tomorrow I find out if I can declare war on the unwelcome once more.

My biggest fear is that he says I can't, that I need to wait a while. I don't want to wait, I want to fight!

Roll on Wednesday because no matter the reason, the waiting is ALWAYS excruciating!